I'm No You

I live my life careful, you see.
Because God make me imperfect.
I don't blame God, oh no.
I've learnt that this is just a test from Him.
Me being imperfect, is a test to me.

God may not judge me for who I am.
But who am I to stop anyone from judging me.

I'm afraid of what you think of me.
I'm afraid of the way you stare at me.
I'm afraid of what you have to say about me.
I'm afraid that you hate me.

I watched carefully the way I talk, walk; well... do things. 
Everything.
Each and every time.
So that, you won't hate me.

So, forgive me if I let loose a little.
Forgive me to rest for a while from being someone you'll like.
Forgive me if my letting loose a little, is an eyesore to you.

See,
I trust myself no more than you trusting me.
So forgive me if I don't trust you,
When you laugh to my joke,
When you smile when I'm around.
I don't deserve any of that,
no matter how much I long for it.

And sometime I'm too tired of being someone you might like.
It's lonely being the only actor on that stage, you see.
That's when things get the best of me.
Even the mightiest dam will broke eventually.
I'm tired of blaming myself.
I can't blame God. I won't.
So I blame you.
"Why can't you understand?"
"What's with that judging stares?"
"Can't you at least imagine being in my shoes?"

Boy, that broken dam is ugly.
Again, I'm sorry if you don't get me.
I'm twisted and complicated.
I'm just too tired.

I don't need you to love me.
I just need- acceptance.
That's it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
sometimes, it does feel hard trying to b someone dat we expect to be liked by others...sometimes u juz need to only think bout urself bcoz in d end d one that left for u is juz urself, not them..others alwiz can choose to b acceptance or not of how u are n might end up liking or hating u, dat's d way of life..so let them b..dat is their own mentally problem, not yours..all u need to do is juz be urself, and dat what gonna makes u beautiful...
November 20, 2011 at 2:05 AM
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