perfectlyimperfect

Kadang-kadang kita terlalu rapat Hingga terhijab cela dan cacat Kita dan Bumi terlalu dekat Ingatkan datar rupanya bulat Kadang-kadang kita terlalu jauh Terpisah dirindu, bersama dikeluh Macam bintang dan matahari Jauh menghias, dekat mencucuh Kadang-kadang kita terlalu sama Ketawa bersama, menangis bersama* But our closeness is bound by the gravitation Too close, we'll head for cosmic collision Sometimes we are too very different Any similarities wouldn't make much difference We could admit it or pretend indifferent That a wishful thinking's us not differ once *sila sengih jika anda baca ini dalam suara Black. lulz **as the title suggests, I want to make this a 'space' theme, but I messed up on the 4th what? rangkap?baris? idk. The point is, just no 'space' reference there.

Never anyone ever told me about how hard life could be. I probably even have the idea that things will be easier as I grow older. How come no one ever reach me. To tell me that I should brace for what's coming. Not that it would help much,  but some help nonetheless. How can the adults just watch me, Trying to figure out life. Like they want me to see that life is an illustrated book, When what exactly I'm looking at is an abstract paint. Probably if they did help me, It would not help much. Or probably I'll refuse anyway. Or probably I would chase them away. *shrugs*

At 23, I finally made peace with Life. Life was cruel and wild. It still is. But just like anything wild, when we understand how it works,even the wildest beast can be tamed and before we know it, we're enjoying the ride on it's back. I'm enjoying my ride now. I'm enjoying my Life. If my Life is an animal, I would say it's a cat, maybe?  Because I tamed Life alright but sometimes I do still have little problems, a bit stress out etc.  That stress and problems -- that's my Life taking occasional s**t on the carpet. I hate you Life, but I love you :)

Aku rindu untuk merasa sunyi Aku kepingin merasa sepi Kesunyian fizikal yang membungkam hati Tetapi tidak kejam menikamnya mati Kerana sekuat mana aku memejam mata Kerana serapat mana aku menutup telinga Deria rasaku tanpa izinku Masih juga cuba menangkap bunyi dan warna Selagi aku belum pekak dan buta Pada rangsangan dunia Selagi itulah aku tak mampu Menafsir pesan-Nya Belum lagi.

Aku rasa  Aku teruk Bila cuba Untuk tegur And there's two definition of tegur and I'm bad at both. Tegur type 1: hai-apa-khabar-nama-apa kind of tegur . Tegur type 2: hoi-tak-elok-la-buat-macam-tu kind of tegur . I tried to avoid both but to no avail because to tegur is inevitable. Tegur type 1 is inevitable as a human. Tegur type 2 is inevitable as a muslim.

The odds that people will ask this questions are little to none, but here's my answer script anyway: Q: Sepanjang ko kerja, ada customer yang cerewet tak? A: Ada. More than cerewetpun ada actually. Ce**** Q: Customer Melayu ke Cina yang camtu? A: Dua-dua sama je. Pfffft. Q: Yang paling ce****? A: To date, customer Cina. Q: Kenapa ko rasa camtu? Ko racist eh? A: Tak, sebab customer aku paling rasa nak lempang setakat ni adalah Cina tu. Q: Kalau yang buat camtu Melayu, ko rasa camne pulak? A: Rasa nak lempang la ==' Q: Laki ke perempuan customer tu? A: Ko nak tuduh aku sexist plak ke? Q: Tak la, nak tau, dia laki ke perempuan? A: Perempuan. Q: Biasanya customer yang cerewet (or ce****) selalunya jantina apa? A: Perempuan. Q: Kenapa ko rasa camtu? Ko sexist eh? A: #%$&$&$!!! Q: Sorry sorry, kenapa ko rasa camtu? A: Standard la perempuan nak mencari yang terbaik. Quoting my female, i repeat , female colleague, ...

I don't exactly remember when it started because it was many years ago. It was a time when I believe I can live alone. I was fine by myself. I was fine with having friends I don't really like, or friends that I don't really hate but weren't so much alike. It was a life I wouldn't say fun but I believed livable. I was just, okay. And then you came into my life. At first you were just like some background noise; I can hear you but I can still ignore. You smiled at me, you joked around, you asked me stuff about me. At first I refused to talk about myself, I never found myself interesting. Heck, I even hated myself. So when you ask me one thing about me, I will just give short,boring answer and asked you ten questions back. Was I curious about you or was just I being polite is a question that's becoming harder for me to answer. What was noise now was music to my ears. But you were persistent. You don't give up asking me about myself. I started to open up, I ...