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Tuesday, July 26

Gatai

Lately I thought about marriage a lot. Not that I'm so gatai meghela nak nikah.Just that there's so many people about my age are now married, or planning to.

If you asked me about marriage 5 years ago, I would go laughing so loud you don't wanna ask me again. But now, I feel like everyone is pushing me into the other dimension of the unthinkable; yes, marriage. Just a few months back, I'm a pengapit to my sister. And this 30 July, a girl friend of mine is inviting people for nasik minyak. Suddenly, I felt like a toddler still playing Legos, when everyone else busy playing Playstation. All the boys are talking about BoboiBoy, and I'm stucked with Usop Sontorian. Semua orang sibuk dengan fixie,aku sibuk dengan skuter kuis kaki...

I felt so left out!!!

And if I lined up my siblings it would be like this:

Not married
Not married
Married
Married
Married
Married
Married
Married
Not married <-----this is me

You see how the list literally translates to " I'm being pushed to the other dimension of the unthinkable : marriage" ?
Do you see how stressful my position is now? Do you? Do you? No you don't. Kerat jari hangpa semua tak kisah.But you know what?It really got me thinking of the possible candidates.Real hard thinking....... And I have none. Yes, thank you for the sympathy look. And the sympathy love. Thanks, but no thanks.

How am I suppose to go through all that, when I can't even manage myself? Basuh baju pun pakai mesin taruk duit. Masak megi pun pakai watercooler. How? Hah, sapa boleh jawab,sapa???

Mak, I'm still the little boy who refused to go to kenduri, waiting you patiently at home for the the bungkus version of nasi minyak, gulai kawah, and jelatah. Then, slowly but delightfully creeping to the table to eat those savoury dishes, with uninterested face still intact. Yes, I'm still your boy who sometime ate the telor rebus with kicap, and sometime just ate the white and discard the yellow.Yes I'm still that little boy Mak. So now tell me how...

And you people, please don't ask me about my two eldest siblings. Maybe they too still washing their clothes with mesin taruk duit. IDK and IDC (that mean I don't know and I don't care, respectively you nosy people)

Dah. bye. end of karutcarut.

Saturday, July 2

Senja

Senja itu selalu kuning dan merah,
Sekuning jantungku yang kematian detak,
Semerah hatiku yang merembes darah
Sesunyi dada,
habis nafas kencang berombak.

Dan aku melihat warna itu menjingga
Di balik himpunan mega
Serentak itu, kau hadir jelma
Sepasti gelap bayang, sejelas terang sinar

Ketika itu juga,
Saat dan detik itu juga,
Jiwa ini dicucuk sebak
Terbit air di ujung kelopak,

Lalu menari-nari semula memori,
Berdansa kembali dalam arteri,
Bagai semalam terjadi,
Bagai kau ada lagi.

Aku cukup tahu ketentuan Tuhan
Pastinya nyawa dipancung kematian
Dikumpul kembali menghadap ar-Rahman
Berharap jumpa di syurga yang aman.

Aku cukup tahu hakikat itu
Cuma tak tertahan kelatnya rindu
Takut reput menunggu kamu
Di pangkin senja berlatar sendu.

Dan senja itu masih kuning dan merah.

Bulan ini adalah bulan kelahiranmu adik aku, Iwa. 1 Julai 2011. Semoga kau terus aman. Aku akan terus menunggu dan merindu. Al-Fatihah.
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