perfectlyimperfect

Aku rasa makin menjauh dengan orang sekeliling aku. Kerana ramai teman sudah mengambil jalan yang jauh dari prinsip aku. Dan aku rasa aku makin menjauh dengan Tuhan. Kerana aku sudah mengambil jalan yang jauh dari suruh dan tegah Tuhan. Karma hits you real hard. Real and hard.

I'm just a dot I'm just a dust But who are you to judge, To show me no respect       When you are just       Another tiny speck Boo-yah!

Aku boleh tulis semahu aku. Satu ayat. Satu perenggan. Satu karangan. Satu cerpen. Satu novel sekalipun. Tapi apalah erti jika sekadar mencari nama dan puja. Cukuplah sekadar satu kata. Janji benar terbit dari jiwa.

I never really have a best friend. Because I don't deserve any.     Because nobody wants to. Because I annoyed many.     The problem is me, not you

Aku agak ramai dah tengok video kejam seorang budak perempuan kena langgar van, tapi orang lalu-lalang seorang pun tak tolong. Bagi yang tak sanggup nak tengok, here's the chronology of the story: Video ini dirakam oleh satu CCTV kedai yang dihala ke jalan, di mana Yue Yue (nama budak perempuan tu) dilanggar dengan kejam. Ini bukanlah jalan yang sunyi. Jalan berbumbung. Keadaan dia macam market besar Nilai 3, cuma takde orang jual dekat tgh jalan tu. Keep that in mind: ramai orang dan depan kedai2. Video bermula dengan seorang budak berjalan ke tengah jalan. Datang satu van. Van langgar Yue Yue. Yue Yue jatuh. Tayar kanan hadapan van lenyek Yue Yue di perut. Van brek. Pemandu tengok Yue Yue guna side mirror. Yue Yue terbaring masih bernyawa. Antara dua tayar. Bergerak-gerak. Pemandu teruskan langgar dengan tayar belakang. Kesan tayar dari darah Yue Yue jelas sepanjang jalan. Van hilang dari sight.  Yue Yue masih bergerak. Sakit pastinya. 10 saat ke...

I love meeting new people. I love the conversation. I love knowing them. I love listening to them. But more often than once, I met new people that's so awkward to start a conversation with. It's still a conversation, but a lot of timid eyes and strange smiles going. So far , I can only crack one code of the awkwardness. That is I became really shy in front of kinda high profile and popular people. I see them superior and I'm out of their league. That's one thing I discovered. Weird me eh? That's one. But this other one I can't find the reason why. I'm bubbly and all, trying to get the conversation going, but the other person just sorta gave awkward expression? What's up with that? They still want the conversation to continue (I think) , but their facial muscles tweak and turn so weirdly I cannot help but to feel- awkward (please improve your vocab Naja) . So, why? Do you see me superior?Out of your league? hell to the no lah...

Aku pandang kau tinggi, awan pun dicecah Sebab itu aku paling pipi Bila kaubuat perkara sebegitu rendah Tell me, tell me how I should react

I don't get why girls love Korean drama so much, I don't get why boys want to be so buff, I don't get why guys watch football 3am in the morning, I don't get how girls find so much money to go shopping, I don't get fishing,  I certainly don't get F1 racing I don't get smoking I don't get modelling I don't get Tumbler I don't get Justin Beiber I don't get cars and engines, certainly not heavy machines, But no worries I don't get myself either *If any one saw the link to Dream/Inception post; I'm sorry I retracted that post. I'm not sure if it's appropriate for you- or for me. If if you want to read it, just let me know in the comment below. I'll decide whether to re-post then.

I'm still picking up the pieces. And I crumbled while doing that. I'm just not good enough for you. Not yet.