Mencari Peneman Sunyi

You got friends who said they love you. You got family that admitted they understand you. You felt secured and you want to open up, but your heart stopped you, because it felt that you’re not. What’s that little uneasiness you experienced when you’re trying to be you? What’s that little uncertainty that came in the middle of conversations? What’s that sudden rush to stop your mouth and zipped your lips?

Between those laughs and smiles, you found that hole inside your heart. One that can’t be filled with mere friendship, clumsy relationship. A hole too deep you can’t see the bottom, one too dark it sucked all light. One hole you kept hidden all this time. You covered it with fake smiles and forceful laughs. You want to show it to your best friend, but you know he wouldn’t come near.

You longed for something, but you don’t know what you longed for. You want to be you, but can you tell who are you? All this time, all those friends you acquired, all those people besides you, all those Facebook friends, all those trust that you gained... It was all for nothing, because in the end, you are still alone.

As you browsed the phone, you can’t find a name you can call. You noticed that your best friend is online, but you hesitated to tell him you’re not fine. You’re alone, but sure thing you can’t tell that to a friend. But a friend you can’t tell that, is he really a friend?

So, you crept into the bed, trying to sleep off another lonely night, after all those lonely nights you experienced before. With all the time facing the same torture, you thought you’d be stronger, but to end this is what you prefer.

We all are alone, we all are on our own. Until the meeting of the fateful one, I’ll be waiting in vain, i’ll remain in pain.

Hey, are you alone? I am too, so let me accompany you.

Comments

Anonymous said…
"You noticed that your best friend is online, but you hesitated to tell him you’re not fine"

-it is damn true to me too...n in d end, i'm juz post I'm ok status in d fb n stuff...though dying to say i'm not but keep pretending I am ok..so that no one will notice that..but, still hope someone will notice that...
dis is all bcoz there r still sometimes when
u feel close to them, u still can't stop wondering whether they too feel d same as u...n then in d end, u start to make ur own conclusion..
that happens to me too...often
February 10, 2011 at 2:07 AM
Najakia said…
kan? hehe how can we share when no one seem to care aight...
n that's one of the reason u kept urself anonymous rite =D
hey, i care. haha
February 11, 2011 at 5:13 PM
Anonymous said…
thanx for ur 'caring'....haha..
i never thought like dat, n now i think bout it,i'm agree wif u...
it's juz dat being anonymous give me some kind of freedom to b anyhow i want to b..n not like wat they expect me to b...n also to get non-biased judgement...juz to b me..hehe
February 13, 2011 at 7:44 PM
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